Space Wizard Federation

From FTL13
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Wizards1 are another of Nanotrasen's,and unfortunately ALL technologically advanced companies, enemies. They use magic, and use either brute magical force, or trickery to get what they want.

1The word "wizard" in the following historical briefing refer to members of the Space Wizard Federation, and is not to slander nor make liable any wizards of magical practitioners not of the Space wizard Federation.

What is the Space Wizard Federation?

The Space Wizard Federation is the cosmos's guild of wizards. To qualify, you must have the ability to manipulate magical energy without aid. This group is known for using their magic to expand their power, and will bulldoze anything or anyone in their way (with magic).

A History of Trolling

The Space Wizard Federation have existed for a long long time, even before mankind extended their reach to the stars. And have been lurking in the shadows, trolling kings, knights, and Japanese women for thousands of years. Wizards only appear in history when they have something personal to gain, due to their inflated egos, and need for attention.

Pre-Silicon Age

The Space Wizard Federation (back then simply known as the Wizard Federation) often trolled humanity by throwing fireballs at hay roofs, setting fire to Chicago, kidnapping and mutilating cattle (accompanied by flashing lights), capturing princesses, telling small people to take evil objects of doom across a continent then throw the small person into a volcano once they get there, and much more. They lived in towers, sold many shady potions, and summoned demons for their own deviant reasons. Most wizards, who were not members, often disapproved of these methods, and usually kept out of this trolling nonsense.

The wizards guild had some hand in every major dictator coming into power, and most all major natural disasters. Wizards of the Federation usually enjoyed trolling the world with their magic while people attempted to disprove their existence. If anything bad or unexplained happened in the world, most likely, a wizard did it!

Silicon Age

With the advent of computers, and the internet, the Wizard Federation could troll many people at once! With a flip of their wrist, they could spam an entire chat forum with foreign written spam posts (often in Russian or an equivalent to their country's "Engrish"). Should their spam not frustrate people, they would simply CRASH whole sets of servers, or cause heavy storms to disable the internet cables of many neckbeards across the globe.

Many Federation wizards continued more traditional acts of trolling, but in the end, most wizards came to troll electronic devices (because it was a source for great LULZ). Wizards also attempted to keep selling their potions under different names, like "Male Enhancement pills", some made a great deal of profit from this!

Space Age

When man kind took to living in space, the Space Wizard Federation was founded to continue their trolling efforts. They actively sought out, and attacked (at random) various research civil space stations across the cosmos! Often stealing trinkets that their "higher ups" request from the assault wizards. Their efforts continue to this day, antagonizing the syndicate, and Nanotrasen. Attempts to catch these wizards often fail, and escapes from space jail are common.

Most Federation wizards have stopped selling potions, and with more closed and too complicated computer networks, they gave up on trolling cyberspace. The Federation shows no sign of weakening, but they have become more obvious than ever before. The mention of a wizard on board may lead to entire crews ripping themselves apart from the inside out. And that puts smiles on the Federation's faces.

Nanotrasen and Wizards

Nanotrasen considers the Space Wizard Federation as a sworn enemy, and will kill them on sight. However, not all wizards belong to the Space Wizard Federation, and, rarely, there exists a peaceful wizard who just wishes to study "new advances" in the technological fields (most wizards replicate all their needs though magic and have no need for advances in technological fields, but they can be inspired by it).

However, the usually encounter with a wizard is from a hostile wizard of the Space Wizard Federation; and these wizards will stop at nothing to troll the crew, blow them up, and take ALL their fancy stuff. Space Wizard Federation are also known for using stolen Nanotrasten loot as foot stools or against their original purpose (due to them being less useful than magic). They also kill people they don't like, or their guild leader doesn't like.

Nanotrasen officially will not work with wizards at all, and has a policy of capturing wizards on sight and shipping them off to jails. This causes most wizards previously peaceful to often join the Space Wizard Federation (out of revenge or to be intimidating).

Wizard Tricks

  • Wizards may trick the crew in several ways, first: Claiming to be a peace wizard. This method is only effective after already accomplishing their intended task. By doing general "peaceful" actions, they try to imitate the truly peaceful wizards that visit stations (rarely). This is always a risky move.
  • The second method is known as baiting! They lure crew members into a tight space, or one with limited access. They then perform various magics in order to kill the most of the crew at once. This may also be provoked in a "wizard's challenge", from an arrogant crew member.
  • Third, the mind swap. By swapping minds with a crew member (often after doing serious damage to their own body first), they find security personnel, and swap bodies with them. They then "capture" their old body.

Syndicate Corporations and Wizards

Often times, wizards and Syndicate Corporations come into contact, and work together to troll Nanotrasen. The wizards are often contracted by a Syndicate Corporation, then the higher wizards make a bargain (often known as a "devil's bargain") out for syndicate contractor, often various magical related objects. What ever the shady deal, and assault wizard is sure to be sent.

Wizards are very fickle! And may turn on the syndicate agency that just previous employed them, over a minor misgiving or on a whim. For this reason, the syndicate cooperation do not mess with wizards, or attempt to abuse their powers. And wizards aren't known just for their bark, as their bite can decimate entire battle fleets in moments (if the wizards get serious).