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In FTL 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class.  It defines your starting equipment, your  [[identification_card|access]] on board the ship, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, '''these job descriptions are for humor purposes only.''' Please obey common sense and [[Space Law|Space Law]].
In FTL 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class.  It defines your starting equipment, your  [[identification_card|access]] on board the ship, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, '''these job descriptions are for humor purposes only.''' Please obey common sense, [[Ship Law]], [[Standard Operating Procedure]], and [[Standard Operating Procedure#Department SOP|Department Standard Operating Procedure]].


'''NOTICE'''
'''NOTICE'''
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! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Captain_action.png|64px|link=Captain]][[File:hudcaptain.png|32px]]<br>[[Captain]]
![[File:Captain_action.png|64px|link=Captain]][[File:hudcaptain.png|32px|link=Captain]]<br>[[Captain]]
|Be responsible for the ship and it's mission. Manage [[Heads of Staff]]. Secure dat fukken disk <s>because you have to for r o l e p l a y</s>. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the [[HoP|Executive Officer]]. Deal with the Clown by loading him into the MAC. Announce that the ship will be heading for The Syndicate capital as a joke and get lynched anyway.
|Be responsible for the ship and it's mission. Manage [[Heads of Staff]]. Secure dat fukken disk <s>because you have to for r o l e p l a y</s>. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the [[Executive Officer]]. Deal with the Clown by loading him into the MAC. Announce that the ship will be heading for The Syndicate capital as a joke and get lynched anyway.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_hop.png|64px|link=Head of Personnel]][[File:hudhop.png|32px]]<br>[[Head of Personnel|Executive Officer]]
![[File:Generic_hop.png|64px|link=Executive Officer]][[File:hudhop.png|32px|link=Executive Officer]]<br>[[Executive Officer]]
|Realize that you're above the other heads on the Chain of Command, yell at them accordingly. Get stuck with the HoP tasks anyway. Get treated like the HoP anyway. I mean, you pretty much are the HoP, anyway. Pet [[Ian]].
|Realize that you're above the other heads on the Chain of Command, yell at them accordingly. Get stuck with the HoP tasks anyway. Get treated like the HoP anyway. I mean, you pretty much are the HoP, anyway. Pet [[Ian]].
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Bridge_officer_spitzer.png|64px|link=Bridge Officer]][[File:hudU.png|32px]]<br>[[Bridge Officer]]
![[File:Bridge_officer_spitzer.png|64px|link=Bridge Officer]][[File:hudU.png|32px|link=Bridge Officer]]<br>[[Bridge Officer]]
|Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, ''coincidentally'' with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. <s>Fire on SolGov.</s> <s>Fire on NT.</s> Just shoot everything, really. Rip apart the docking clamps by FTLing before undocking. Get lynched.
|Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, ''coincidentally'' with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. <s>Fire on SolGov.</s> <s>Fire on NT.</s> Just shoot everything, really. Rip apart the docking clamps by FTLing before undocking. Get lynched.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
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! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:darkred;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Hos.PNG|64px|link=Head of Security]][[File:hudhos.png|32px]]<br>[[Head of Security]]
![[File:Hos.PNG|64px|link=Head of Security]][[File:hudhos.png|32px|link=Head of Security]]<br>[[Head of Security]]
|Make sure your team isn't [[Shitcurity]]. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than [[Clown|leeches]]. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU <b>ARE THE LAW</b> . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Attempt to assemble a boarding party and cry because it's not implemented yet. Use the sniper against the Clown. Get banned because ''all HoS's are terrible unless proven otherwise''.
|Spawn in and watch an officer stun themselves within the first five minutes. Watch as the clown runs into Security because they [[Executive Officer|somehow got access]]. Try to arrest the guy breaking someone out of the brig and arrest everyone that was in the hallway because they're clearly all guilty by association. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Attempt to assemble a boarding party and cry because it's not implemented yet. Use the sniper against the Clown. Get banned because ''all HoS's are terrible unless proven otherwise''.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Warden.png|64px|link=Warden]][[File:hudwarden.png|32px]]<br>[[Warden]]
![[File:Warden.png|64px|link=Warden]][[File:hudwarden.png|32px|link=Warden]]<br>[[Master-at-Arms]]
|Sit in your office. Coordinate officers on rare occasion. <s>Never</s> Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, <s>then order crates to cover it up</s> and watch as the AI rats you out. Accidentally bump prisoners out of an officer's hands and watch a scene unfold deserving of the Benny Hill theme. Use your disabler on prisoners through the brig windows.
|Sit in your office. Coordinate officers on rare occasion. <s>Never</s> Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, <s>then order crates to cover it up</s> and watch as the AI rats you out. Accidentally bump prisoners out of an officer's hands and watch a scene unfold deserving of the Benny Hill theme. Use your disabler on prisoners through the brig windows.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:SecurityOfficer.png|64px|link=Security Officer]][[File:hudsec.png|32px]]<br>[[Security Officer]]
![[File:SecurityOfficer.png|64px|link=Security Officer]][[File:hudsec.png|32px|link=Security Officer]]<br>[[Security Officer]]
|Listen over the radio about crime not even two minutes into the shift. Get slipped by the Clown and experience relief when they don't steal your taser. Tase the Clown anyway. Exagerrate people's crimes and max their brig time. Use lethals on someone who shoved you because ''shoving puts your life in danger''. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.
|Listen over the radio about crime not even two minutes into the shift. Get slipped by the Clown and experience relief when they don't steal your taser. Tase the Clown anyway. Exagerrate people's crimes and max their brig time. Use lethals on someone who shoved you because ''shoving puts your life in danger''. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_detective.png|64px|link=Detective]][[File:huddetective.png|32px]]<br>[[Detective]]
![[File:Generic_detective.png|64px|link=Detective]][[File:huddetective.png|32px|link=Detective]]<br>[[Detective]]
|Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion.  
|Join the round late and find your revolver missing. Start an investigation into who stole your revolver. Find the perp and arrest and brig them. Get banned because Detective isn't allowed to brig..  
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|}
|}
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! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Ce.png|64px|link=Chief Engineer]][[File:hudce.png|32px]]<br>[[Chief Engineer]]
![[File:Ce.png|64px|link=Chief Engineer]][[File:hudce.png|32px|link=Chief Engineer]]<br>[[Chief Engineer]]
|Fly around in space while your [[Station Engineer|subordinates]] blow up engineering, cut life-support to the ship, and overheat the [[Supermatter Engine|supermatter shard]], all at the same time!  
|Fly around in space while your [[Station Engineer|subordinates]] blow up engineering, cut life-support to the ship, and overheat the [[Supermatter Engine|supermatter shard]], all at the same time!  
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Engineer.png|64px|link=Ship Engineer]][[File:hudengi.png|32px]]<br>[[Ship Engineer]]
![[File:Engineer.png|64px|link=Ship Engineer]][[File:hudengi.png|32px|link=Ship Engineer]]<br>[[Ship Engineer]]
|<s>Set up the singularity</s> Get shot by the emitters, get brutally <s>murdered</s> slipped by the [[Clown]] as the supermatter overheats, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people.
|<s>Set up the singularity</s> Get shot by the emitters. Get brutally <s>murdered</s> slipped by the [[Clown]] as the supermatter overheats, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Watch the clown patch a breach faster than you. Quit.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:AtomsTech.png|64px|link=Atmospheric Technician]][[File:hudatmos.png|32px]]<br>[[Atmospheric Technician]]
![[File:AtomsTech.png|64px|link=Atmospheric Technician]][[File:hudatmos.png|32px|link=Atmospheric Technician]]<br>[[Atmospheric Technician]]
|Your <s>angry</s> friendly ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Take your sweet time trying to create a direct pipeline to the FTL and Shields. Run around the ship looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release plasma into the halls.
|Your <s>angry</s> friendly ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Take your sweet time trying to create a direct pipeline to the FTL and Shields. Run around the ship looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release plasma into the halls. What the h*ck is carbon dioxide?
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium  
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium  
|}
|}
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! scope="col" style="background-color:#DDA0DD;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:#DDA0DD;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:ResearchDirector.png|64px|link=Research Director]][[File:hudrd.png|32px]]<br>[[Research Director]]
![[File:ResearchDirector.png|64px|link=Research Director]][[File:hudrd.png|32px|link=Research Director]]<br>[[Research Director]]
|Oversee the [[Scientist|demented]] [[Roboticist|manchildren]] of your department. <s>Build</s> Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the ship. Scream incoherent commands at everyone whenever an anomaly appears. Break down in tears when you see a MAC round hit the server room.
|Oversee the [[Scientist|demented]] [[Roboticist|manchildren]] of your department. <s>Build</s> Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the ship. Scream incoherent commands at everyone whenever an anomaly appears. Powergame for research levels and get banned. Break down in tears when you see a MAC round hit the server room.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_scientist.png|64px|link=Scientist]][[File:hudsci.png|32px]]<br>[[Scientist]]
![[File:Generic_scientist.png|64px|link=Scientist]][[File:hudsci.png|32px|link=Scientist]]<br>[[Scientist]]
|Get tossed in disposal by the [[Research Director]], nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up <s>toxins</s>, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.
|Get tossed in disposal by the [[Research Director]], nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up <s>toxins</s>, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Roboticist_action.png|64px|link=Roboticist]][[File:hudrobo.png|32px]]<br>[[Roboticist]]
![[File:Roboticist_action.png|64px|link=Roboticist]][[File:hudrobo.png|32px|link=Roboticist]]<br>[[Roboticist]]
|Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the walls for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm, just like Skywalker!
|Completely ignore the drone dispenser and make ghosts mad. Ping the posibrain over and over and make ghosts mad again. Put the posibrain in a mech and watch them struggle to go anywhere. Go on a date with the AI and make them human. Get the death sentence as a result. Be confused about "agumentation" and "organ manipulation".
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|}
|}
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! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:lightblue;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Cmo.png|64px|link=Chief Medical Officer]][[File:hudcmo.png|32px]]<br>[[Chief Medical Officer]]
![[File:Cmo.png|64px|link=Chief Medical Officer]][[File:hudcmo.png|32px|link=Chief Medical Officer]]<br>[[Chief Medical Officer]]
|Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Do everything (Everyone else under you does fuck all).
|Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Turn cryo to auto and watch self-serving assistants get trapped. Do everything.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Doctor.png|64px|link=Medical Doctor]][[File:huddoc.png|32px]]<br>[[Medical Doctor]]
![[File:Doctor.png|64px|link=Medical Doctor]][[File:huddoc.png|32px|link=Medical Doctor]]<br>[[Medical Doctor]]
|<s>Heal people.</s> <s>Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.</s> <s>Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.</s> Try to heal people, get pushed out of the way and witness crew selfserve anyway. Chase someone dragging a person in critical around. Accidentally overdose someone with Anti-Toxin.
|<s>Heal people.</s> <s>Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people.</s> <s>Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems.</s> Try to heal people, get pushed out of the way and witness crew self-serve anyway. Chase someone dragging a person in critical around. Accidentally overdose someone with Anti-Toxin.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Chemist_action.png|64px|link=Chemist]][[File:hudchem.png|32px]]<br>[[Chemist]]
![[File:Chemist_action.png|64px|link=Chemist]][[File:hudchem.png|32px|link=Chemist]]<br>[[Chemist]]
|Make chemicals and basically control the ship. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy.
|Make ''safe'' drugs and give them to assistants for Science(!). Show security a <s>fake</s> waiver stating that the now decesased totally knew the consequences. Put 31u bicardine and kelotane pills into the smart fridge and laugh when people overdose. Light chemistry on fire trying to make meth. Try making metal foam and have it expand in your face because screw stabilizing agents. Preemptively make oil for the inevitable MO rushing to chemistry.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Geneticist_action.png|64px|link=Geneticist]][[File:hudgen.png|32px]]<br>[[Geneticist]]
![[File:Geneticist_action.png|64px|link=Geneticist]][[File:hudgen.png|32px|link=Geneticist]]<br>[[Geneticist]]
|Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing over the radio. <s>Clone</s> Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get screeched at by your monkeys. Toss past bodies into maintenance.
|Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing over the radio. <s>Clone</s> Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get screeched at by your monkeys. Toss past bodies into maintenance.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Virologist.png|64px|link=Virologist]][[File:hudviro.png|32px]]<br>[[Virologist]]
![[File:Virologist.png|64px|link=Virologist]][[File:hudviro.png|32px|link=Virologist]]<br>[[Virologist]]
|Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever [[Virology|in your dungeon]]. Find out that MAC rounds like finding their way to your department and get blown up without anyone noticing.
|Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever [[Virology|in your dungeon]]. Find out that MAC rounds like finding their way to your department and get blown up without anyone noticing.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
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! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Quartermaster.png|64px|link=Quartermaster]][[File:hudqm.png|32px]]<br>[[Quartermaster]]
![[File:Quartermaster.png|64px|link=Quartermaster]][[File:hudqm.png|32px|link=Quartermaster]]<br>[[Quartermaster]]
|Order '''EVERYTHING''' roundstart and prepare for the longest wait in waiting history, because you're never docking with another station ''ever again''; the precious minutes you have to order before the FTL and Shields are operational are all you're going to get. Yell at your [[Cargo Technician|slaves]] to push crates as fast as possible. Become irate and sell your slaves all together. Watch as the docking clamps get obliterated because the Helms Officer forgot to undock. Pet Lisa.
|Order '''EVERYTHING''' roundstart and prepare for the longest wait in waiting history, because you're never docking with another station ''ever again''; the precious minutes you have to order before the FTL and Shields are operational are all you're going to get. Yell at your [[Cargo Technician|slaves]] to push crates as fast as possible. Become irate and sell your slaves all together. Watch as the docking clamps get obliterated because the Helms Officer forgot to undock. Pet Lisa.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Cargo.png|64px|link=Cargo Technician]][[File:hudtech.png|32px]]<br>[[Cargo Technician]]
![[File:Cargo.png|64px|link=Cargo Technician]][[File:hudtech.png|32px|link=Cargo Technician]]<br>[[Cargo Technician]]
|Get as many orders in as possible before the QM flips out. Miss wearing shorts because of strict uniform policy. Get commanded to order guns for a "boarding party" and get arrested when the HoS realizes that boarding isn't even implemented yet and pins the blame on you to save face. Run around the station looking for something to do because you're out of the job for pretty much the rest of the round.
|Get as many orders in as possible before the QM flips out. Miss wearing shorts because of strict uniform policy. Get commanded to order guns for a "boarding party" and get arrested when the HoS realizes that boarding isn't even implemented yet and pins the blame on you to save face. Run around the ship looking for something to do because you're out of the job for pretty much the rest of the round.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Lava_miner.png|64px|link=Shaft Miner]][[File:hudminer.png|32px]]<br>[[Shaft Miner]]
![[File:Lava_miner.png|64px|link=Shaft Miner]][[File:hudminer.png|32px|link=Shaft Miner]]<br>[[Shaft Miner]]
|Never actually do what your job title says. Cry to the bridge to find a lavaplanet. Get yelled at by the captain on high volume and capslock to get salvaging. Get locked out of the ship because the shields were brought back up. Get left behind as a result. Accidentally turn off the comms relay and watch as the entire z-level gets wiped.
|Never actually do what your job title says. Cry to the bridge to find a lavaplanet. Get yelled at by the captain on high volume and capslock to get salvaging. Get locked out of the ship because the shields were brought back up. Get left behind as a result. Accidentally turn off the comms relay and watch as the entire z-level gets wiped.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_munitions_officer_male.png|64px|link=Munitions Officer]][[File:hudU.png|32px]]<br>[[Munitions Officer]]
![[File:Generic_munitions_officer_male.png|64px|link=Munitions Officer]][[File:hudU.png|32px|link=Munitions Officer]]<br>[[Munitions Officer]]
|Load HE preemptively, ignore other shell rounds. Jam the MAC, yell at Chemistry for oil. Arm a round as the ship goes into FTL. Load the [[Clown]] into the MAC, blow up.
|Load HE preemptively, ignore other shell rounds. Jam the MAC, yell at Chemistry for oil. Arm a round as the ship goes into FTL. Load the [[Clown]] into the MAC, blow up.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
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! scope="col" style="background-color:#DDA0DD;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:#DDA0DD;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Janitor.png|64px|link=Janitor]][[File:hudjanitor.png|32px]]<br>[[Janitor]]
![[File:Janitor.png|64px|link=Janitor]][[File:hudjanitor.png|32px|link=Janitor]]<br>[[Janitor]]
|Visit the XO Line on the regular because of how often people shoot themselves when they don't get all access. Get outcompeted by Engineers since hull breaches are the real mess on this ship. Always have your light replacer ready since lights blow up every five minutes from ion storms. Get your boots stolen by the Clown. Point at your wet floor signs and get robusted as a result.
|Visit the XO Line on the regular because of how often people shoot themselves when they don't get all access. Get outcompeted by Engineers since hull breaches are the real mess on this ship. Always have your light replacer ready since lights blow up every five minutes from ion storms. Get your boots stolen by the Clown. Point at your wet floor signs and get robusted as a result.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_barman.png|64px|link=Bartender]][[File:hudbar.png|32px]]<br>[[Bartender]]
![[File:Generic_barman.png|64px|link=Bartender]][[File:hudbar.png|32px|link=Bartender]]<br>[[Bartender]]
|Prepare a ton of ''safe'' drinks for the tide of Cargo Techs who are bound to show up minutes after the ship FTLs. Find someone who will saw off your shotgun. Stare at the Assistant across the room winning every prize possible from the arcade machine. Get arrested by Shitcurity for "possession".
|Prepare a ton of ''safe'' drinks for the tide of Cargo Techs who are bound to show up minutes after the ship FTLs. Find someone who will saw off your shotgun. Stare at the Assistant across the room winning every prize possible from the arcade machine. Get arrested by Shitcurity for "possession".
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_chef.png|64px|link=Chef]][[File:hudchef.png|32px]]<br>[[Cook]]
![[File:Generic_chef.png|64px|link=Cook]][[File:hudchef.png|32px|link=Cook]]<br>[[Cook]]
|"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat you find in maintenance behind [[Genetics]] (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Get overrun with people screaming for food if you happen to show up to the shift late.
|"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat you find in maintenance behind [[Genetics]] (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Get overrun with people screaming for food if you happen to show up to the shift late.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Botanist.png|64px|link=botanist]][[File:hudbotanist.png|32px]]<br>[[Botanist]]
![[File:Botanist.png|64px|link=Botanist]][[File:hudbotanist.png|32px|link=Botanist]]<br>[[Botanist]]
|Grow <strike>the good stuff</strike> grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke <s>weed</s> dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Load poisonous product in the vendor and get blamed when the chef uses it in their cooking.
|Grow <strike>the good stuff</strike> grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke <s>weed</s> dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Load poisonous product in the vendor and get blamed when the chef uses it in their cooking.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
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! scope="col" style="background-color:#9ACD32;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="background-color:#9ACD32;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_assistant2.png|64px|link=Assistant]][[File:hudhelp.png|32px]]<br>[[Assistant]]
![[File:Generic_assistant2.png|64px|link=Assistant]][[File:hudhelp.png|32px|link=Assistant]]<br>[[Assistant]]
|AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown.
|Rush into tool storage to get that toolbelt. Ask over radio about who needs assistance and get bewildered responses. Get stomped on by security just because. Find the captain's spare and cry tears of joy. Find the airlock out to space and discover spacewind simultaneously.
!<span style="display: none;">f</span>None
!<span style="display: none;">f</span>None
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_clown.png|64px|link=Clown]][[File:hudhonk.png|32px]]<br>[[Clown]]
![[File:Generic_clown.png|64px|link=Clown]][[File:hudhonk.png|32px|link=Clwon]]<br>[[Clown]]
|Honk!  Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the XO for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. Honk! End up putting the whole armory in your backpack after slipping [[Security]] constantly. HONK!
|Honk!  Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the XO for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. Honk! End up putting the whole armory in your backpack after slipping [[Security]] constantly. HONK!
!<span style="display: none;">e</span>HONK!
!<span style="display: none;">e</span>HONK!
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_mime.png|64px|link=Mime]][[File:hudmime.png|32px]]<br>[[Mime]]
![[File:Generic_mime.png|64px|link=Mime]][[File:hudmime.png|32px|link=Mime]]<br>[[Mime]]
|''*wave''
|''*wave''
!<span style="display: none;">e</span>...
!<span style="display: none;">e</span>...
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_chaplain.png|64px|link=Chaplain]][[File:hudchap.png|32px]]<br>[[Chaplain]]
![[File:Generic_chaplain.png|64px|link=Chaplain]][[File:hudchap.png|32px|link=Chaplain]]<br>[[Chaplain]]
|Put on your Templar armor without a second thought to lead a righteous crusade through space against The Syndicate. Get ignored anyway. Pray to the almighty <s>God</s> admins and get rewarded with a cookie because it's the easiest button for them to press. Smash people over the head with your bible.
|Put on your crusader armor without a second thought to lead a righteous crusade through space against <s>Space Jerusalem</s> The Syndicate. Get ignored anyway. Pray to the almighty <s>God</s> admins and get rewarded with a cookie because it's the easiest button for them to press. Smash people over the head with your bible.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Deus Vult!
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Deus Vult!
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_librarian.png|64px|link=Librarian]][[File:hudbook.png|32px]]<br>[[Librarian]]
![[File:Generic_librarian.png|64px|link=Librarian]][[File:hudbook.png|32px|link=Librarian]]<br>[[Librarian]]
|Run around asking where the library is. Become bored and ask the XO to make you a surgeon because "you read about it in a book". Get blamed for taking the circular saw and end up in the brig as a result.
|Run around asking where the library is. Become bored and ask the XO to make you a surgeon because "you read about it in a book". Get blamed for taking the circular saw and end up in the brig as a result.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|-
|-
![[File:Generic_lawyer.png‎|64px|link=Lawyer]][[File:hudlawyer.png|32px]]<br>[[Lawyer]]
![[File:Generic_lawyer.png‎|64px|link=Lawyer]][[File:hudlawyer.png|32px|link=Lawyer]]<br>[[Lawyer]]
|Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation.
|Essentially be an ass of an assistant with ''a suit and suitcase'' with security access who yells "OBJECTION" whenever anyone questions you. Take it upon yourself to break your client out of the brig. Get banned for griefing.
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">d</span>Easy
|}
|}
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|-
|-
![[File:Generic_borg.png|64px|link=Cyborg]]<br>[[Cyborg]]
![[File:Generic_borg.png|64px|link=Cyborg]]<br>[[Cyborg]]
|Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to [[Research Director|certain individuals]]. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion.
|Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up because [[Research Director|certain individuals]] decided to listen to Pubbie Jones screaming about how you're rogue because you're arresting them as a secborg for tiding. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. '''HUMAN HARM!!!'''
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
|-
![[File:Generic drone.png|64px|link=Drone]]<br>[[Drone]]
![[File:Generic drone.png|64px|link=Drone]]<br>[[Drone]]
|Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the ship's Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. Turn on the animal filter because there's no difference with these maniacs.
|Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat while you're trying to fix a hull breach that's killing everyone. Be more competent than the ship's Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. Turn on the animal filter because that's exactly what the whole crew is.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Easy
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Easy
|-
|-
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|-
|-
![[File:Shade.png|64px|link=Construct]]<br>[[Construct]]
![[File:Shade.png|64px|link=Construct]]<br>[[Construct]]
|Get wrecked by cult. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get <s>spaced</s> wraith.
|Become the wonder of the ship on account of how rarely you appear and how you're pretty much a ghost with color (much to the amusement of pubbies). Speed around the ship while Security tries to cuff you. Get robusted somehow and get tossed into the recycler.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Easy to Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Easy to Medium
|-
|-
![[File:Ghost2.png|64px|link=Ghost]]<br>[[Ghost]]
![[File:Ghost2.png|64px|link=Ghost]]<br>[[Ghost]]
|Talk to the other [[Clown|dead]] [[Assistant|people]]. Complain about the living. Admin help. <s>Omnighost</s> Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. <s>Watch ERP</s>. <s>Beg the admin to deploy a</s> Respawn as a space ninja because the random events have been stripped down. All follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile.
|Talk to the other [[Clown|dead]] [[Assistant|people]]. Complain about the living. Adminhelp to be a cool superdeath soldier. <s>Omnighost</s> Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. <s>Watch ERP</s>. <s>Beg the admin to deploy a</s> Respawn as a space ninja because the random events have been stripped down. Eventually meet up with everyone dead when someone mentions the SM going critical.
!<span style="display: none;">f</span>Ghastly!
!<span style="display: none;">f</span>Ghastly!
|}
|}
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! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:brown;" width=100|Difficulty
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:brown;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Traitor.png|64px|link=Traitor]]<br>[[Traitor]]
![[File:Traitor.png|64px]][[File:Generic_nukesyndie.png|64px]]<br>[[Boarding Event Antag]]
|Get marked for deletion because being a traitor would end the round too fast. Cry as a result
|Suit up in awesome gear, pick loads of lethal weapons, '''DIE ANYWAY'''.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Changeling.gif|64px|link=Changeling]]<br>[[Changeling]]
|Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Generic_nukesyndie.png|64px|link=Syndicate guide]]<br>[[Syndicate guide|Nuclear Operative]]
|Get respawned as nukeops when the round has been going on for too long and NT pissed off the [[Guide to Factions#The Syndicate|big red meanies]]. Overwhelm the crew without much resistance because no one goes security. Don't worry about people announcing your presence since no one likes listening to the radio anyway. Get teamkilled.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
|-
![[File:Cultist.png|64px|link=Cult magic]]<br>[[Cultist]]
|Scribble runes. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your <s>cock</s> cult blade out and get arrested.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium
|-
![[File:servant_of_ratvar.png|64px|link=Clockwork Cult]]<br>[[Clockwork Cult|Clockwork Cultist]]
|Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium to Hard
|-
![[File:Assistant.png|64px|link=Revolution]]<br>[[Revolution|Revolutionary]]
|Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Easy to Hard
|-
![[File:Mobster.png|64px|link=Gang]]<br>[[Gang|Gangster]]
|Vandalize the ship and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Generic_wizard.png|64px|link=Wizard]]<br>[[Wizard]]
|FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!!
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
|-
![[File:Generic_wizard.png|64px|link=Wizard]][[File:Generic_wizard.png|64px|link=Wizard]][[File:Generic_wizard.png|64px|link=Wizard]]<br>[[Wizard|Ragin Mages]]
|Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other.
!<span style="display: none;">a</span>Very Hard
|-
![[File:Blob core.gif|64px|link=Blob]]<br>[[Blob]]
|Forget you're infected with the blob, burst in the XO line while begging for all access. Somehow manage to not die within five minutes of bursting. Get killed by the augmented, riot suit wielding Head of Security.  
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Shadowbeing.png|64px|link=Shadowling]]<br>[[Shadowling]]
|Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the whole crew into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
![[File:devil.gif|64px|link=devil]]<br>[[Devil]]
|Engage in civil discussions to buy souls.  Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul.  Try to out wit the lawyer.  Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
|-
![[File:Monkey.png|64px|link=Game Mode#Monkey]]<br>[[Game Mode#Monkey|Monkey]]
|Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Very Hard
|-
|}
 
=== Side Antagonists ===
 
{| border="1" cellspacing="0" cellpadding="2" width="80%" style="background-color:silver;" class="wikitable sortable"
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:orange;" width=200|Job
! scope="col" class="unsortable" style="color:white;background-color:orange;"|Role
! scope="col" style="color:white;background-color:orange;" width=100|Difficulty
|-
|-
![[File:Stand.gif|64px|link=Guardian Spirit]]<br>[[Guardian Spirit]]
|Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Be a punchghost.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>ORA ORA ORA
|-
![[File:Alien.png|link=Alien]]<br>[[Xenos|Xenomorph]]
|Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien ''wing-wang''. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the librarian's favorite porno.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Swarmer.png|link=Swarmers]]<br>[[Swarmers]]
|Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport <s>other swarmers</s> your enemies away from your metal.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Medium
|-
![[File:Revenant.png|64px|link=Revenant]]<br>[[Revenant]]
|Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the librarian until he goes mad. Trade for them until <s>admins</s> gods get fed up with you and turn ghosts into you. Be a griefghost.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Easy
|-
![[File:Morph.png|link=Morph]]<br>[[Morph]]
|Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
![[File:Generic_ninja.png|link=Space Ninja]]<br>[[Space Ninja]]
|Become more common than you are rare and get complained about for how often your random event spawns. Toss RP out the window and kill everyone.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
|-
|}
|}
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|-
|-
![[File:Ashwalker.png]]<br>[[Lavaland|Lavaland Role]]
![[File:Ashwalker.png]]<br>[[Lavaland|Lavaland Role]]
|Die to ash storms. Die to a legion. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general.
|Die to ash storms. Die to a legion. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die when the z-level wipes from the ship taking off. Die in general.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|-
|-
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|-
|-
![[File:Ian.PNG|link=Ian]]<br>[[Ian]]
![[File:Ian.PNG|link=Ian]]<br>[[Ian]]
|Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot.
|Get killed by the XO. Get resurrected with infinite health and laugh when the XO gets inflicted with braindamage from admins.
!<span style="display:none;">a</span>Impossible
!<span style="display:none;">a</span>Impossible
|-
|-
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|-
|-
![[File:deathsquadofficer.png|link=Death squad]]<br>[[Death squad|Death Squad Officer]]
![[File:deathsquadofficer.png|link=Death squad]]<br>[[Death squad|Death Squad Officer]]
|Beg for DS, spawn in at centcom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and <s>get blasted into oblivion with your own rifle </s> laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mataba Revolver.
|Chant alongside your fellow ghosts for deafsquids. Get spawned in as commander dethsquirm and attempt to lead your team. Get ignored and default to "destroy everything" anyway. Engage in a battle with a Bubblegum with their scale set to 10 and cry when you realize scale doesn't increase their hitbox. Get obliterated by fellow dingsquares.
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
!<span style="display: none;">b</span>Hard
|}
|}
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|-
|-
![[File:Lizardman.png|64px|link=Lizardperson]]<br>[[Lizardmen]]
![[File:Lizardman.png|64px|link=Lizardperson]]<br>[[Lizardmen]]
|Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. <strike>Be locked out of important positions.</strike> Threaten the XO with a lawsuit if he doesn't promote you to a Head position. Make it hard to understand a word you say by hissing frequently. Get discriminated against for being a special snowflake.
|Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. <strike>Be locked out of important positions.</strike> Threaten the XO with a lawsuit if he doesn't give you a gimmick job that fits with your name. Make it hard to understand a word you say by hissing frequently. Get discriminated against for being a special snowflake.
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Uncommon
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Uncommon
|-
|-
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|-
|-
![[File:Slimepeople.png|64px|link=Slimepeople]]<br>[[Slimepeople#Slimepeople|Slimeperson]]
![[File:Slimepeople.png|64px|link=Slimepeople]]<br>[[Slimepeople#Slimepeople|Slimeperson]]
|Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your <s>only</s> slime friends. Swap between bodies. Inject people with your poisonous blood.  
|Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your <s>only</s> slime friends. Swap between bodies. Stare in horror as the chef uses your gibbed meat in hamburgers.  
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Very Rare
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Very Rare
|-
|-

Latest revision as of 05:04, 22 July 2018

In FTL 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the ship, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense, Ship Law, Standard Operating Procedure, and Department Standard Operating Procedure.

NOTICE

  • There are many rules that only apply to certain jobs, roles, creatures, and departments. These exist to deter powergaming, griefing, and being a dick in general. They should also be located on the wiki page for each role.
  • Ignorance of your job’s rules is unacceptable.


Useful Links


Command

Job Role Difficulty

Captain
Be responsible for the ship and it's mission. Manage Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk because you have to for r o l e p l a y. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the Executive Officer. Deal with the Clown by loading him into the MAC. Announce that the ship will be heading for The Syndicate capital as a joke and get lynched anyway. aVery Hard

Executive Officer
Realize that you're above the other heads on the Chain of Command, yell at them accordingly. Get stuck with the HoP tasks anyway. Get treated like the HoP anyway. I mean, you pretty much are the HoP, anyway. Pet Ian. cMedium

Bridge Officer
Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, coincidentally with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. Fire on SolGov. Fire on NT. Just shoot everything, really. Rip apart the docking clamps by FTLing before undocking. Get lynched. cMedium

Security

Job Role Difficulty

Head of Security
Spawn in and watch an officer stun themselves within the first five minutes. Watch as the clown runs into Security because they somehow got access. Try to arrest the guy breaking someone out of the brig and arrest everyone that was in the hallway because they're clearly all guilty by association. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Attempt to assemble a boarding party and cry because it's not implemented yet. Use the sniper against the Clown. Get banned because all HoS's are terrible unless proven otherwise. aVery Hard

Master-at-Arms
Sit in your office. Coordinate officers on rare occasion. Never Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up and watch as the AI rats you out. Accidentally bump prisoners out of an officer's hands and watch a scene unfold deserving of the Benny Hill theme. Use your disabler on prisoners through the brig windows. bMedium

Security Officer
Listen over the radio about crime not even two minutes into the shift. Get slipped by the Clown and experience relief when they don't steal your taser. Tase the Clown anyway. Exagerrate people's crimes and max their brig time. Use lethals on someone who shoved you because shoving puts your life in danger. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity. aHard

Detective
Join the round late and find your revolver missing. Start an investigation into who stole your revolver. Find the perp and arrest and brig them. Get banned because Detective isn't allowed to brig.. cMedium

Engineering

Job Role Difficulty

Chief Engineer
Fly around in space while your subordinates blow up engineering, cut life-support to the ship, and overheat the supermatter shard, all at the same time! bHard

Ship Engineer
Set up the singularity Get shot by the emitters. Get brutally murdered slipped by the Clown as the supermatter overheats, get drunk in the bar. Make telecoms unusable with scripts. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Watch the clown patch a breach faster than you. Quit. cMedium

Atmospheric Technician
Your angry friendly ghetto fireman. Ensure everyone can breathe by listening to complaints about how useless you are. If they can talk, everything's within tolerances. Build pipe slides. Forget all about repairing damaged piping. Take your sweet time trying to create a direct pipeline to the FTL and Shields. Run around the ship looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Release plasma into the halls. What the h*ck is carbon dioxide? cMedium

Science

Job Role Difficulty

Research Director
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Build Destroy cyborgs with your magic button. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the ship. Scream incoherent commands at everyone whenever an anomaly appears. Powergame for research levels and get banned. Break down in tears when you see a MAC round hit the server room. bHard

Scientist
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up toxins, let the Slimes loose. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a mini Singularity. Refuse to stop at the last three items in the previous list and accidentally kill yourself in enough stupid ways to make murder look like assisted suicide. cMedium

Roboticist
Completely ignore the drone dispenser and make ghosts mad. Ping the posibrain over and over and make ghosts mad again. Put the posibrain in a mech and watch them struggle to go anywhere. Go on a date with the AI and make them human. Get the death sentence as a result. Be confused about "agumentation" and "organ manipulation". dEasy

Medical

Job Role Difficulty

Chief Medical Officer
Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Turn cryo to auto and watch self-serving assistants get trapped. Do everything. cMedium

Medical Doctor
Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Try to heal people, get pushed out of the way and witness crew self-serve anyway. Chase someone dragging a person in critical around. Accidentally overdose someone with Anti-Toxin. dEasy

Chemist
Make safe drugs and give them to assistants for Science(!). Show security a fake waiver stating that the now decesased totally knew the consequences. Put 31u bicardine and kelotane pills into the smart fridge and laugh when people overdose. Light chemistry on fire trying to make meth. Try making metal foam and have it expand in your face because screw stabilizing agents. Preemptively make oil for the inevitable MO rushing to chemistry. dEasy

Geneticist
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing over the radio. Clone Ignore the tide of dead bodies that comes to your door. Lose your hair. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey SE and get impaled by the cook. Get screeched at by your monkeys. Toss past bodies into maintenance. cMedium

Virologist
Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Find out that MAC rounds like finding their way to your department and get blown up without anyone noticing. cMedium

Civilian

Supply

Job Role Difficulty

Quartermaster
Order EVERYTHING roundstart and prepare for the longest wait in waiting history, because you're never docking with another station ever again; the precious minutes you have to order before the FTL and Shields are operational are all you're going to get. Yell at your slaves to push crates as fast as possible. Become irate and sell your slaves all together. Watch as the docking clamps get obliterated because the Helms Officer forgot to undock. Pet Lisa. cMedium

Cargo Technician
Get as many orders in as possible before the QM flips out. Miss wearing shorts because of strict uniform policy. Get commanded to order guns for a "boarding party" and get arrested when the HoS realizes that boarding isn't even implemented yet and pins the blame on you to save face. Run around the ship looking for something to do because you're out of the job for pretty much the rest of the round. dEasy

Shaft Miner
Never actually do what your job title says. Cry to the bridge to find a lavaplanet. Get yelled at by the captain on high volume and capslock to get salvaging. Get locked out of the ship because the shields were brought back up. Get left behind as a result. Accidentally turn off the comms relay and watch as the entire z-level gets wiped. bMedium

Munitions Officer
Load HE preemptively, ignore other shell rounds. Jam the MAC, yell at Chemistry for oil. Arm a round as the ship goes into FTL. Load the Clown into the MAC, blow up. bMedium

Service

Job Role Difficulty

Janitor
Visit the XO Line on the regular because of how often people shoot themselves when they don't get all access. Get outcompeted by Engineers since hull breaches are the real mess on this ship. Always have your light replacer ready since lights blow up every five minutes from ion storms. Get your boots stolen by the Clown. Point at your wet floor signs and get robusted as a result. dEasy

Bartender
Prepare a ton of safe drinks for the tide of Cargo Techs who are bound to show up minutes after the ship FTLs. Find someone who will saw off your shotgun. Stare at the Assistant across the room winning every prize possible from the arcade machine. Get arrested by Shitcurity for "possession". dEasy

Cook
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat you find in maintenance behind Genetics (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Get overrun with people screaming for food if you happen to show up to the shift late. dEasy

Botanist
Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security gives fuckall about. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Load poisonous product in the vendor and get blamed when the chef uses it in their cooking. cMedium

Miscellaneous

Job Role Difficulty

Assistant
Rush into tool storage to get that toolbelt. Ask over radio about who needs assistance and get bewildered responses. Get stomped on by security just because. Find the captain's spare and cry tears of joy. Find the airlock out to space and discover spacewind simultaneously. fNone

Clown
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the XO for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. Honk! End up putting the whole armory in your backpack after slipping Security constantly. HONK! eHONK!

Mime
*wave e...

Chaplain
Put on your crusader armor without a second thought to lead a righteous crusade through space against Space Jerusalem The Syndicate. Get ignored anyway. Pray to the almighty God admins and get rewarded with a cookie because it's the easiest button for them to press. Smash people over the head with your bible. dDeus Vult!

Librarian
Run around asking where the library is. Become bored and ask the XO to make you a surgeon because "you read about it in a book". Get blamed for taking the circular saw and end up in the brig as a result. dEasy

Lawyer
Essentially be an ass of an assistant with a suit and suitcase with security access who yells "OBJECTION" whenever anyone questions you. Take it upon yourself to break your client out of the brig. Get banned for griefing. dEasy


Non-human

Job Role Difficulty

AI
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Make snide remarks about Engineering for their terrible engine setup. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. aVery Hard

Cyborg
Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up because certain individuals decided to listen to Pubbie Jones screaming about how you're rogue because you're arresting them as a secborg for tiding. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. HUMAN HARM!!! bHard

Drone
Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat while you're trying to fix a hull breach that's killing everyone. Be more competent than the ship's Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. Turn on the animal filter because that's exactly what the whole crew is. bEasy

Personal AI
Be the friend someone has always wanted if they bother downloading you. Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill any of the fields except the name field. Backseat captain whenever you're on the Bridge. dEasy

Construct
Become the wonder of the ship on account of how rarely you appear and how you're pretty much a ghost with color (much to the amusement of pubbies). Speed around the ship while Security tries to cuff you. Get robusted somehow and get tossed into the recycler. cEasy to Medium

Ghost
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Adminhelp to be a cool superdeath soldier. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo pretending to be a black hole. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a Respawn as a space ninja because the random events have been stripped down. Eventually meet up with everyone dead when someone mentions the SM going critical. fGhastly!

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Job Role Difficulty

Boarding Event Antag
Suit up in awesome gear, pick loads of lethal weapons, DIE ANYWAY. cHard

Special

Job Role Difficulty

Lavaland Role
Die to ash storms. Die to a legion. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die when the z-level wipes from the ship taking off. Die in general. bHard

Centcom Official
Get spawned when the ship accidentally decides to fire blue on blue. Get killed because the crew wants to turn to piracy anyway. Watch as a team of agents bluespaces in to obliterate the crew when they don't hear back from you. bMedium

Ian
Get killed by the XO. Get resurrected with infinite health and laugh when the XO gets inflicted with braindamage from admins. aImpossible
Chrono Legionnaire
Chrono Legionnaire
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Never be spawned by a admin for being too powerful. Without a trace! bNever Existed

Emergency Response Officer
Arrive too late on the ship to actually help. Lose the rest of your team to a stray MAC round. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. bVery Hard

Death Squad Officer
Chant alongside your fellow ghosts for deafsquids. Get spawned in as commander dethsquirm and attempt to lead your team. Get ignored and default to "destroy everything" anyway. Engage in a battle with a Bubblegum with their scale set to 10 and cry when you realize scale doesn't increase their hitbox. Get obliterated by fellow dingsquares. bHard

Species

Read More: Guide to races

Species Description Prevalence

Humans
Behave like the dominant species you are. Beat skulls in with a toolbox and remind everyone that you are essentially a bald ape. Get leg-dropped by a wrestler and watch as your leg actually falls off. Pray to be changed into a catgirl/boy, get changed into an actual cat instead. aVery Common

Lizardmen
Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. Be locked out of important positions. Threaten the XO with a lawsuit if he doesn't give you a gimmick job that fits with your name. Make it hard to understand a word you say by hissing frequently. Get discriminated against for being a special snowflake. cUncommon

Flyperson
Annoy the chef for his cheese, vomit on his food and kill Pete because you need barf fuel muh self defense. Start getting voices in your head when you read the bee movie script over the radio. Get lynched for attacking the botanist using pest spray, and get gibbed by the chef for 'no reason'. cUncommon

Plasmamen
Light the entirety of the ship on fire. Be triggered by cold environments. Claim that you're a space beast that's come to kill everything, ever. cRare

Slimeperson
Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your only slime friends. Swap between bodies. Stare in horror as the chef uses your gibbed meat in hamburgers. cVery Rare

Podmen
End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire. cVery Rare