Jobs: Difference between revisions
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!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | ||
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![[File: | ![[File:Bridge_officer_spitzer.png|64px|link=Bridge Officer]]<br>[[Bridge Officer]] | ||
|Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, ''coincidentally'' with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. <s>Fire on SolGov.</s> <s>Fire on NT.</s> Just shoot everything, really. Rip apart the docking clamps by FTLing before undocking. Get lynched. | |Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, ''coincidentally'' with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. <s>Fire on SolGov.</s> <s>Fire on NT.</s> Just shoot everything, really. Rip apart the docking clamps by FTLing before undocking. Get lynched. | ||
!<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium | !<span style="display: none;">c</span>Medium |
Revision as of 02:55, 20 April 2017
In FTL 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the ship, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please obey common sense and Space Law.
NOTICE
- There are many rules that only apply to certain jobs, roles, creatures, and departments. These exist to deter powergaming, griefing, and being a dick in general. They should also be located on the wiki page for each role.
- Ignorance of your job’s rules is unacceptable.
Useful Links
Command
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Captain |
Be responsible for the ship and it's mission. Manage Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the Executive Officer. Deal with the Clown by loading him into the MAC. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION' | Very Hard |
Executive Officer |
Realize that you're above the other heads on the Chain of Command, yell at them accordingly. Get stuck with the HoP tasks anyway. Get treated like the HoP anyway. I mean, you pretty much are the HoP, anyway. Pet Ian. | Medium |
Bridge Officer |
Fly the ship into The Syndicate capital right as an ion storm slams the bridge. Berate Engineering for not setting up the FTL and Shields every two minutes. Go missing and have the clown show up in your place, coincidentally with your same clothes. Fire the MAC and watch the MO fly out instead of a shell. |
Medium |
Security
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Head of Security |
Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW . Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Carry half the Armory in your backpack. Attempt to assemble a boarding party and cry because it's not implemented yet. Use the sniper against the Clown. | Very Hard |
Warden |
Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. |
Medium |
Security Officer |
Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the ship. Taser people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause, get called shitcurity. | Hard |
Detective |
Chain smoke cigarettes. Shoot the useless assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Solve crimes on rare occasion. | Medium |
Engineering
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Chief Engineer |
Fly around in space while your subordinates blow up engineering, cut life-support to the ship, and overheat the supermatter shard. | Hard |
Ship Engineer |
Medium | |
Atmospheric Technician |
Your |
Medium |
Science
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Research Director |
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. |
Hard |
Scientist |
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director, nag chemistry, "accidentally" blow up |
Medium |
Roboticist |
Build some nifty robots and BIG STOMPY MECHS! Dismantle the walls for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm, Just like Skywalker! | Easy |
Medical
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Chief Medical Officer |
Gently remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate. Fetch Runtime mice from maintenance. Do everything (Everyone else under you does fuck all). | Medium |
Medical Doctor |
Easy | |
Chemist |
Make chemicals and basically control the ship. Fling grenades on the emergency shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the Chief Medical Officer after they examine your bottle of "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo. Dish out space drugs like no tomorrow. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. | Easy |
Geneticist |
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing over the radio. |
Medium |
Virologist |
Expect people you've never met to already hate you, try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic, get killed for the clown releasing Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Find out that MAC rounds like finding their way to your department and get blown up without anyone noticing. | Medium |
Civilian
Supply
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Quartermaster |
Order crates and make sure your slaves do their jobs. Be an extremely vulnerable target for the Revolution. |
Medium |
Cargo Technician |
Push dem crates. Promote shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. Steal |
Easy |
Shaft Miner |
Never actually do what your job title says. Cry to the bridge to find a lavaplanet. Get yelled at by the captain on high volume and capslock to get salvaging. Get locked out of the ship because the shields were brought back up. Get left behind as a result. Accidentally turn off the comms relay and watch as the entire z-level gets wiped. | Medium |
Munitions Officer |
Load HE preemptively, ignore other shell rounds. Jam the MAC, yell at Chemistry for oil. Arm a round as the ship goes into FTL. Load the Clown into the MAC, blow up. | Medium |
Service
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Janitor |
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Always carry your light replacer since ion storms happen every five minutes. Clean up gang tags, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them. | Easy |
Bartender |
Mix cocktails, |
Easy |
Cook |
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat you find in maintenance behind Genetics (Yum!), abduct Pun Pun at all costs and try to find out if it will blend. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. | Easy |
Botanist |
Grow |
Medium |
Miscellaneous
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Assistant |
AKA Space Bums. Be the kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Never, EVER remove your grey jumpsuit. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the clown. | None |
Clown |
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the XO for an all-access pass. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. Honk! End up putting the whole armory in your backpack after slipping Security constantly. HONK! | HONK! |
Mime |
*wave | ... |
Chaplain |
Drink your holy water. Preach your religion with your all-healing bible. Drink more holy water. Attempt to hold weddings and funerals. Make people retarded with your all-healing bible. Pretend to listen. Pray to the almighty |
Easy |
Librarian |
Run around asking where the library is. Become bored and ask the XO to make you a surgeon because "you read about it in a book". Get blamed for taking the circular saw and end up in the brig as a result. | Easy |
Lawyer |
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. Occasionally find loopholes in infernal contracts and save souls from damnation. | Easy |
Non-human
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
AI |
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Make snide remarks about Engineering for their terrible engine setup. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. | Very Hard |
Cyborg |
Follow your laws and hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals. Forget to recharge. Forget completely that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. | Hard |
Drone |
Become that adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes the crew will inevitably make. Steal everything not bolted down. Get picked up and used as a hat against your will. Be more competent than the ship's Engineers. Get killed by the Engineers for being more competent than them. Turn on the animal filter because there's no difference with these maniacs. | Easy |
Personal AI |
Be the friend someone has always wanted |
Easy |
Construct |
Get wrecked by cult. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell, ask for juggernaut and get |
Easy to Medium |
Ghost |
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. |
Ghastly! |
Antagonists
Main Antagonists
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Traitor |
Get marked for deletion because being a traitor would end the round too fast. Cry as a result | Medium |
Changeling |
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. | Hard |
Nuclear Operative |
Get respawned as nukeops when the round has been going on for too long and NT pissed off the big red meanies. Overwhelm the crew without much resistance because no one goes security. Don't worry about people announcing your presence since no one likes listening to the radio anyway. Get teamkilled. | Very Hard |
Cultist |
Scribble runes. Summon eldritch gods. Rock out with your |
Medium |
Clockwork Cultist |
Serve the Clockwork Justiciar by scribbling new-age runes all over maintenance. Start a steampunk book club and kill all the old-fashioned book clubbers. Invoke a bunch of anime people to summon Ratvar. Make everyone at /vg/ mad by stealing their antagonist. | Medium to Hard |
Revolutionary |
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. | Easy to Hard |
Gangster |
Vandalize the ship and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches. | Hard |
Wizard |
FORTI GY AMA!! EI NATH!! | Very Hard |
Ragin Mages |
Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other. | Very Hard |
Blob |
Forget you're infected with the blob, burst in the XO line while begging for all access. Somehow manage to not die within five minutes of bursting. Get killed by the augmented, riot suit wielding Head of Security. | Hard |
Shadowling |
Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the whole crew into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round. | Hard |
Devil |
Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. | Medium |
Monkey |
Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost. | Very Hard |
Side Antagonists
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Guardian Spirit |
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Be a punchghost. | ORA ORA ORA |
Xenomorph |
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the librarian's favorite porno. | Hard |
Swarmers |
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport |
Medium |
Revenant |
Shock lights, transmit WGW right into the librarian until he goes mad. Trade for them until |
Easy |
Morph |
Eat pens for amusement, disguise yourself as beepsky. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. | Hard |
Space Ninja |
Become more common than you are rare and get complained about for how often your random event spawns. Toss RP out the window and kill everyone. | Hard |
Special
Job | Role | Difficulty |
---|---|---|
Lavaland Role |
Die to ash storms. Die to a legion. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general. | Hard |
Centcom Official |
Get spawned when the ship |
Medium |
Ian |
Ass-inspect, eat donuts, get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed. Cause a riot. | Impossible |
Chrono Legionnaire |
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Never be spawned by a admin for being too powerful. Without a trace! | Never Existed |
Emergency Response Officer |
Arrive too late on the ship to actually help. Lose the rest of your team to a stray MAC round. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. | Very Hard |
Death Squad Officer |
Beg for DS, spawn in at centcom, kill an admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and |
Hard |
Species
Read More: Guide to races
Species | Description | Prevalence |
---|---|---|
Humans |
Behave like the dominant species you are. Beat skulls in with a toolbox and remind everyone that you are essentially a bald ape. Get leg-dropped by a wrestler and watch as your leg actually falls off. Pray to be changed into a catgirl/boy, get changed into an actual cat instead. | Very Common |
Lizardmen |
Name yourself Does-The-Gimmick. Set all your accessory slots and become an unrecognisable blob of pixels. |
Uncommon |
Flyperson |
Annoy the chef for his cheese, vomit on his food and kill Pete because |
Uncommon |
Plasmamen |
Light the entirety of the ship on fire. Be triggered by cold environments. Claim that you're a space beast that's come to kill everything, ever. | Rare |
Slimeperson |
Be the specialest snowflake in xenobiology. Hang out with your |
Very Rare |
Podmen |
End up as mister potatohead after Genetics gets blown up and the Botanist is not stoned enough to forget he can clone too, but too stoned to do a good job. Forget that you photosynthesise and grow obese in the light. Start vegetating with relative ease. Remember that you're basically a walking matchstick well after you marched into a plasma fire. | Very Rare |